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Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Review!

2008-05-24 22:42:09 by BlackPlastic

I have not seen any previous Indian Jones movies. Keep that in mind while reading my review.

*******SPOILER ALERT*******
If you have not already seen the movie and don't want the plot ruined, don't read the review.

The new Indiana Jones movie is finally here. This new addition to the series is full of action, chase scenes, fighting scenes, and all the other things we have all come to love about the series. The plot could be a bit crazy and unrealistic at times but sometimes you don't always want a movie to be as realistic as possible. Did the movie live up to all the hype it's getting? In my opinion no but apparently a lot of people say yes so that is for you to decide.

The movie starts out with a kidnapped Indiana Jones, once again played by Harrison Ford, being taken to the warehouse where the Pandora's Box was held. After revealing the whereabouts of the box he uses his super Indiana Jones skills to escape the soviets who captured him and ends of finding himself in a fake town where an atomic bomb was being tested >.>. Apparently he gets into a refrigerator seconds before the bomb goes off and is flung thousands of feet away from the blast and rolls out of the refrigerator completely unharmed.

Great intro for a movie right? Well no, that kind of thing is probably the main problem I had with the movie. The acting was superb for the most part and the actors really played the roles of rugged architects from the 80s very well. The plot was just so unrealistic that things started to contradict themselves and make almost no sense. Also, as a person who doesn't know much about previous Indian Jones movies, the plot was near impossible to understand the first time around.

So Indiana Jones and this one dude going by the nickname Mutt Williams, questionably played by Shia LaBeouf from the Disney series Even Stevens, meet up and start there search for a crystal skull. Why did they want it? I honestly was not able to figure out, and believe me I was trying very hard. They find the skull in some tomb somewhere and have a bunch of Indian carcasses start attacking them. That's when I knew this movie was going to be a let down. I was expecting something at least sort of realistic. Not some weird sci fi adventure.

Well after getting the skull these KGB guys somehow were able to find him before he was able to get out. They then take him to the middle of the jungle so they can question Indiana Jones for more information about the skull. I honestly think the only reason they even went to the jungle was to put the setting for the inevitable action chase scene. Indiana Jones, Mutt Williams, and former wife Marion Ravenwood grab the skull and jack a truck/boat to start this chase scene.

The jungle chase scene was full of things that made completely no sense at all. It's starts out as the kind of chase scene you'd expect with people jumping from car to car and using swords instead of guns. At one point of the scene Mutt grabs onto a jungle vine for some odd reason and starts swinging across the vines like a monkey. Magically by the time he gets out of the forest only by swinging on vines the two trucks are conveniently right in front of him so he can dropkick the driver the KGB truck.

Once the chase scene is finally over (it was ended with the truck/boat being driven into a river) they start making their way towards their destination which is a tomb in which they need to place the skull. At this part was one of the most questionable parts of the movie. They drop down three consecutive waterfalls, each one bigger then the last, and not only were they able to survive by some twist of fate, but they did not drop the skull into the water.

They finally find the tomb they were looking for, which was in the waterfall, and end up making their way towards the room they need to place the skull. Once again, the KGB people magically find them and catch up to our heroes inside of the tomb. The ending is possibly one of the weirdest I have ever seen in my life. I'll try to explain it the best I can.

The crystal skull is placed on a matching crystal skeleton which opens a portal to another dimension which starts ripping the tomb from the inside out. Everyone starts trying to run out and end up making it out and getting to a safe distance, though they never really show you how they did it. Once not in danger they start watching a, get this, UFO pop out from underground and fly away into space. My jaw was open by the time this happened in utter confusion.

It concludes just the way you would expert it. Indiana Jones and Marion get married with Mutt as the best man. What happened with the UFO and why was it there? They didn't say. What was the entire point of finding the skull and returning it to it's resting place? They didn't say. If someone knows the answer to these questions who have seen the movie, I would be happy to hear.

It's like the writers couldn't think of a logical ending for the movie so they just said, "Lets make this ending make as little sense as we possible can." I'm sure great writers like George Lucas could think of a much better ending then that joke that they did. I was very disappointed about that.

I also got tired of seeing near death situation after near death situation the entire movie. Indiana Jones saved from quicksand in the nick of time. Mutt saved from a poison dart in the nick of time. Not to mention the word "Duck!" was used practically 10 times during the jungle chase scene to either save them from gunfire and to save the from an object decapitating them. In one case it was even saving them from another car running over them. You got tired of it after a while and the movie began to lose all it's suspense.

As you could probably tell, I was definitely not the biggest fan of the movie. The plot aside though, it was great. Superior acting and Harrison Ford still has the athleticism to be a great tough guy character like Indiana Jones. Shia LaBeouf I think seamed kind of out of place in the movie, and definitely didn't have the body of the biker type he was portraying, but his acting was good and he was able to act like the character well without looking like it.

I just can't an enjoy a movie with such an unrealistic and hard to follow plot. I'd like to understand what I'm watching and not just try to enjoy the fast paced action that is going on. I want to know why things are happening, and that is why I am giving this a lower score then most would expect.



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2008-05-24 22:45:23

the movie would have been better had wuzzles been in it.


2008-05-24 22:53:01

you make it sound lick a bad movie and its not a bad movie.